When my kids were very young and I was still working full time I definitely had a lot of guilt moments. I even went as far as to collate some of them at the time, for example:
…giving your child Calpol and packing them off to school, crossing your fingers all day that you’re not going to get a call to come and pick them up
…getting someone else to drop them off and pick them up from school
…forgetting to put the tooth fairy money under their pillow
Anyway, they’re older now but I still get those guilt moments and today’s felt pretty bad. As a working mum, you are constantly balancing work and life, but sometimes life can just tip things over the edge. This morning I was trying to get into work early but that didn’t happen.
For a change my son was up and dressed early – a good start I thought. Oh no, not the case. Instead, he said he wasn’t really feeling like his usual self and felt a bit odd. Okay. He was up and dress, to me that had to be a good sign. My daughter was getting herself ready quite promptly too, so it was all looking good for me to head in early and leave them to walk to school. But, I was still considering what my son had said about not feeling his usual self, so I waited a bit and gave them a lift so they didn’t have to walk quite so far. Within 15 minutes of dropping them off my daughter called to say her brother was complaining of a splitting headache.
“Give him some ibuprofen then” was my reply. Two minutes later another call, “he’s just thrown up a bit” she says. Not good I know but I was driving in to work by now. “How’s he feeling now?” I ask. “A bit better, but very pale” she responds. “He’ll be fine now”, I tell her, and they continue on to school and I continue in to work. Within 5 minutes I get a call from the school, my son is in the office complaining he’s not feeling well and can I come and pick him up. Aaarrrgggh.
So, I go into the work for all of two minutes, explain the situation and return home. I spend the rest of the day juggling working from home, caring for my son, running him to various medical appointments and feeling guilty. Turns out he had a “migraine related episode”, whatever one of those is.
So today, Guilt Is…
…feeling like the worst mother in the world for sending my child to school when he was clearly not 100%
…having to take more time away from the office at really short notice.
(I know the latter shouldn’t come in to consideration, but it does and that bothers me.)
So, I’ll open it up to you now, have you got any “guilt is” moments that you’d like to share?